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Picking Well

Over the years I’ve noticed that there are 2 simple and basic requirements to a successful relationship. The first requirement is to pick well, the second is to nurture your relationship well from there. If you have picked well, the other person will most likely nurture you well in return. Implied in this rule of thumb is that when you do not pick well—when you pick a person with notable character flaws, problems, or issues, your efforts to keep the relationship healthy, happy, and committed will only go so far. Eventually the other person will need to give and make efforts towards the relationship as well. So, if/when they do not, your best efforts will only keep the relationship going for

Applying the 7 Habits to Relationships

A landmark self-help book by renown BYU professor Stephen Covey is the classic work: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Regularly touted as one of the top 20 self-help books of all time, this remarkable work loosely and informally translates several useful and traditionally LDS principles into a user-friendly self-help form to promote what makes for healthy, happy, effective people. These principles relate to both the business world, relationships, and life in general. In today’s dating and relationship world as single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, how can these principles and values translate to you? How can they help your dating and relationship life? Th

New Research

A really unique study came out a few weeks ago. It is a longitudinal study (meaning data gathered for a long time) that used machine learning to look for predictors of relationship quality. One of the most interesting things about what the authors state they found was that how we view our relationship is more predictive of relationship quality than anything. In addition, there were no individual factors that were predictive of positive or negative impact. What this means is that how we view the relationship is more important than how much we have in common. It is a common dating myth that we should be looking for someone who has shared interests, like "being active" or "likes the outdoors"

Positive Role Models

One of the biggest challenges for relationships today is the lack of positive marriage and relationship role models. Too often we see friends, family, and coworkers complaining about their significant other, getting separations and divorces, and overall being unhappy. We see TV and movies showing the same things: arguing, contention, resentments, break ups, infidelity, and on and on. It is no wonder that people have largely lost faith and confidence in relationships and marriage success today. When most of what you are seeing and hearing about are problems and failure with relationships, this is the understandable, natural result. Therefore, in order to battle against these influences, str

Handling Rejection

One of the hardest aspects of the dating world is when you face rejection: someone deciding they are not interested in and do not want to date you (or no longer want to date you). It is very easy to take the rejection hard and take it personally. We often wonder why we were truly rejected. Because often the one rejected either gives no explanation (they “ghost” you), gives a false explanation, or only gives a partial explanation (where there is “more to the story”). Occasionally the rejecting person actually does give a full, honest answer for why they are rejecting you—although that can sometimes be hard to trust. In any event, learning that the person you were interested in and hopeful bui

 

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