Our Recent Posts

Archive

Tags

Being Approachable



A lot of times, people in the singles/dating world get frustrated with a number of common issues and challenges. One of the more common frustrations involves people being unhappy that others do not approach them or keep wanting to interact after a brief exchange. If you are noticing that you are rarely approached or your conversations with others are usually brief, tense, or awkward, there are probably reasons for this. Are you not rich, good looking, or popular enough? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. But I do know this: people who are rarely approached by others usually give off often inadvertent messages that they are not open to being approached. This “unapproachable” message comes in body language, facial expression, certain statements, and other signs and signals.


How Are You Coming Across as Unapproachable?


From the book First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You by White and Demarais (2007), some common signs to others are reviewed that send the message you are not approachable and/or are otherwise disinterested.


They are:

  • Failure to smile. You might think doing this has you coming across as neutral, thoughtful, and cool. But instead it leads you to come across as uninterested, unattracted to the other, or cold.

  • Focusing on your individuality rather than your commonality with others. You might think doing this has you coming across as interesting and eccentric. But instead it leads you to come across as inaccessible, self-absorbed, or socially awkward.

  • Showing little attention to your grooming and style. You might think doing this has you coming across as natural or not concerned about superficialities. But instead it leads you to come across as socially unaware, lazy, or careless.

  • Waiting for an introduction. You might think doing this has you coming across as neutral or unobtrusive. But instead it leads you to come across as distant, uncomfortable, uninviting, or passive.

  • Observing and judging before interacting actively. You might think doing this has you coming across as careful and thoughtful. But instead it leads you to come across as uninterested, difficult to connect with, or aloof.

  • Using prepared opening lines. You might think doing this has you coming across as charming, open, and witty. But instead it leads you to come across as shallow, aggressive, or calculating.

  • Opening with a casual, negative opinion. You might think doing this has you coming across as straightforward. But instead it leads you to come across as unlikable or unpleasant.

Read the rest here!